Just about everyone sometime, usually past a certain stage of cognitive development, makes decisions. Some are easy, some are more difficult. Easy ones are like, Hi, my name’s Donald, I’m five years of age, my daddy’s just given me a million dollars and I’m trying to decide if I’ll be a generous philanthropist all my life or a narcissistic egomaniac devoted to cultivating a cult of absolute worship towards myself. Well, that didn’t take him long. More difficult decisions are like, Mmm, this pair of undies seems to have a hole in it. Actually, three holes. I wonder if I should throw it out yet but that would possibly contribute to my having to go clothes shopping sooner than later. Ok, I’ll think about it. This is called putting off a decision. In these cases, they tend to get put off forever as somebody else makes the decision for you, as in, Hey dear, this pair of undies is shot, shall I chuck it out? People who write books about love and marriage and such stuff never seem to include this highly kind of practical reason for getting married.
Of course, the more important you are, the more important your decisions become. I don’t know who decides when Mr Luxon needs to get new undies but whoever it is must be very busy, as Mr Luxon probably shits himself every time he sees Mr Peters or Mr Seymour. But this week Mr Luxon had even bigger decisions to make. On the way to Japan, to meet very important people, Mr Luxon’s RNZAF plane, a Boeing 757, broke down and Mr Luxon had to suffer the indignity of having to fly Air NZ. I should be very surprised if he flew cattle class but even so, it’s scarcely appropriate for a Very Important Person to associate with riffraff, just by being on the same plane. Mr Luxon finally made it to Japan where he apparently exhausted his complete Japanese vocabulary by greeting the Japanese Prime Minister with Konichiwa, how’s your sushi?
More importantly, this distressing episode led to Mr Luxon making a Major Decision. Within days of it occurring, the Government announced that it was sending a frigate and some planes to Japan to help oversee the very bad behaviour of the very bad people in North Korea. This decision had major ramifications, domestically and internationally. Kim Jong Un was reported to be completely devastated and mortified at having to face the military wrath of New Zealand and immediately requested to see photographic evidence of the entire NZ navy. He was immediately shown a photo of the Devonport naval base, told that was it and yelled (in Korean), “Wtf???” Having then got himself off the floor, tears still streaming down his face, he asked about our air force. He was presented with a photo of the aforementioned Boeing 757, complete with a list of its recent mechanical problems, which ran to some 439 pages. Again he collapsed to the floor, so completely overcome with laughter that his doctors immediately sent him off for three days of bedrest. The NZ Government has since received a Letter of Gratitude from the US Government, thanking it profusely for easing international tensions so dramatically for the three days Kim was out of action.
Mr Luxon, meantime, had made another interesting decision on his Japanese trip, describing business leaders who accompanied previous Government missions as C-listers. Apart from angering his own supporters, Luxon’s comments caused a huge surge of internet action as people tried to find out if a C-list was in any way related to the F-word. Apparently, if you have a capital letter followed by a hyphen followed by a four letter word, it’s a reference to Very Naughty Stuff. Apparently it’s not but if it were, I think that C-listers may be a very appropriate way of describing more than one member of the current Government.
Finally for today, I must make reference to the woman who took her boyfriend to the Disputes Tribunal for failing to take her to the airport when he said he would. Although the Tribunal dismissed the claim, the report must have sent shivers down the spine of every single person in a relationship of more than ten minutes duration. If the claim sets a precedent, the following could become commonplace headlines:
Man Sued For Not Doing The Dishes When It Was His Turn
Mum Sued For Not Icing Birthday Cake Properly
Court Action Initiated Against Mate Who Said He’d Bring Steinlager To Party But Brought Ranfurly Instead
Partner Accused Of Throwing Out Undies When They Only Had Five Holes In Them.
Flatmate Charged With Serving Vegan Food At Shared Meal
Ok, some things are forgivable but vegan food???? Ha! Absolutely!!!!
as ex CEO and group general manager of air nz luxon obviously knows why he has made the decision to dislike flying commercial. And we have to remember how he castigated the previous prime minister (what was his name?) about flying air force, must have fresh evidence of some sort.
As to throwing out undies, you get a choice, all too often I get "I am throwing these out!"
Of course this incudes other clothing items such as jeans with ripped knees. To no avail does Bonnie listen to my pleas of "but it is a fashion statement!"
Her response goes along the lines of, "these are old, filthy, and stained. No!"